Am I Codependent?

Q: What does the "Am I Codependent?" quiz measure?

This free self-assessment quiz helps you reflect on when caring for someone else becomes losing yourself. It includes 10 questions and takes about 4 minutes. Results are for self-reflection, not clinical diagnosis.

Q: Is the "Am I Codependent?" quiz free?

Yes. This quiz is completely free, anonymous, and requires no signup. Your answers are processed in your browser and never stored or shared.

Q: What does "Low Codependency Indicators" mean?

You care deeply without losing yourself in the process. Take a breath here. What you're showing is something genuinely healthy: the ability to love people without disappearing into them. You can hold someone's pain without making it your own. You can say n

Q: What does "Moderate Codependency Indicators" mean?

You've learned to earn love through giving, and it's costing you. I want you to sit with this for a moment, because what I'm about to say might land hard. You have a generous heart, but somewhere along the way you learned that your worth depends on what you give to

Q: What does "Strong Codependency Indicators" mean?

You've built your entire identity around being needed, and it's time to come home to yourself. I'm going to be direct with you, because I think you've had enough people tiptoeing around this. You have given yourself away so completely that you may not know who you are without someone else's cri

Question 1

Right now, think about the last time someone you love was upset. What do you notice happened in your body?

Answer

I couldn't breathe until I fixed it. Their pain flooded my entire system like it was my own, and nothing else existed until they were okay.

Answer

Whatever I was doing stopped mattering. I shifted all my energy toward them, even if what I was doing was important too.

Answer

I felt for them and offered support, but I could hold their feelings without absorbing them completely.

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I stayed grounded. I cared about what they were going through without feeling like I had to carry it for them.

Question 2

What do you notice when you think about saying no to someone who needs you?

Answer

My stomach drops. Saying no feels like a betrayal, like I'm proving I don't really love them. So I almost never do it.

Answer

I say yes to avoid the guilt, but then I quietly resent them for asking. It leaks out in other ways.

Answer

There's still a pull to say yes automatically, but I've started catching myself and choosing more carefully.

Answer

I can say no without guilt spiraling. Loving someone doesn't mean I owe them every piece of myself.

Question 3

When you sit with this honestly: do you know what you actually want? Not what your partner wants, not what your family needs. What you want?

Answer

If you asked me what I want for dinner, I could answer. If you asked me what I want from my life, I'd go blank. I've been someone else's support beam for so long I forgot I'm also a person.

Answer

Somewhere underneath I know, but it feels selfish to want things when someone I love still needs something from me.

Answer

I've lost touch with parts of myself, but I'm slowly starting to ask what I actually need instead of just reacting to everyone else.

Answer

I know what matters to me. My relationships are part of my life, not the whole thing.

Question 4

Think about someone you love who keeps making choices that hurt them. What do you notice yourself doing?

Answer

I make excuses for them, cover their tracks, lend them money I won't get back. I tell myself I'm helping, but somewhere I know I'm just making it easier for them to keep going.

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I research solutions, draft plans, send articles. I put more effort into solving their problem than they do, and then I'm hurt when nothing changes.

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It's painful to watch, but I've learned that rescuing them isn't the same as loving them.

Answer

I can love someone and still let them experience the natural consequences of their decisions. That's not cruelty. That's respect.

Question 5

What do you notice when the people in your life are doing fine without you? When nobody needs anything?

Answer

Panic. If nobody needs me, what am I for? The silence where their needs usually are feels like proof that I don't matter.

Answer

I get uncomfortable and start scanning for something to fix, someone to help. Stillness feels wrong.

Answer

There's a small flicker of unease, but I'm learning to let peace be peace instead of searching for the next crisis.

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Relief. I use that space for myself. Everyone being okay is a gift, not a threat.

Question 6

Right now, notice what happens inside you when you imagine someone being angry or disappointed with you.

Answer

My whole body tenses. I will reshape myself, apologize for things I didn't do, swallow my own truth to keep someone from being upset with me.

Answer

It sits in my chest for days. I replay every conversation looking for where I went wrong, even when I didn't.

Answer

It's not comfortable, but I know that someone being disappointed in me doesn't mean I did something wrong.

Answer

I can hold space for their reaction without making it mean something about my worth.

Question 7

When was the last time you did something purely for yourself? Not for someone else's benefit, not to earn love. Just for you.

Answer

I can't remember. Everything I do passes through a filter of how it affects someone else first. Even rest feels like something I have to earn.

Answer

I've tried, but the guilt shows up almost immediately. Like I'm stealing time from someone who needs me more.

Answer

It's getting easier. I went for a walk last week just because I wanted to, and I didn't feel like I needed to justify it.

Answer

Often. Taking care of myself isn't selfish. It's the foundation that makes me able to show up for anyone else.

Question 8

What do you notice about how you feel when you help someone? Not what you think about it. What you feel.

Answer

It's the only time I feel like I have value. When I'm needed, I matter. When I'm not, I'm nothing. That's the honest truth.

Answer

I feel good, but I need them to notice. If they don't acknowledge what I did, something curdles inside me.

Answer

There's warmth in it, but my sense of self doesn't hinge on whether I helped someone today.

Answer

I enjoy being helpful, but it's one part of who I am, not the whole thing.

Question 9

Think about your closest relationship right now. If you're being really honest, do you try to manage or guide how that person lives their life?

Answer

I monitor what they eat, how they spend, who they talk to. I tell myself it's because I care, but honestly, I need things to go the way I think they should.

Answer

I offer suggestions constantly. I get frustrated when they don't follow my advice because I can see the right path so clearly.

Answer

The impulse is there, but I've started noticing when I'm trying to control instead of connect.

Answer

They're an adult. I share my perspective when asked and trust them to figure out their own path.

Question 10

What do you notice when you imagine being completely alone? No one to take care of, no one who needs you.

Answer

Terror. Without someone to orbit around, I don't know who I am. Being alone feels like disappearing.

Answer

A deep loneliness rises up, even just imagining it. I've always moved from one person to the next because the gap between feels unbearable.

Answer

It used to terrify me, but I'm slowly learning that being alone doesn't mean being abandoned.

Answer

I enjoy solitude. I like who I am when no one's watching, and being alone feels like freedom, not punishment.