Am I Being Gaslighted?

Q: What does the "Am I Being Gaslighted?" quiz measure?

This free self-assessment quiz helps you reflect on when someone makes you question what you know is true. It includes 10 questions and takes about 4 minutes. Results are for self-reflection, not clinical diagnosis.

Q: Is the "Am I Being Gaslighted?" quiz free?

Yes. This quiz is completely free, anonymous, and requires no signup. Your answers are processed in your browser and never stored or shared.

Q: What does "Low Gaslighting Indicators" mean?

Your reality is still yours. Take a breath. Based on your answers, what you're describing doesn't point to gaslighting. That doesn't mean the relationship is perfect or that nothing needs attention. But the core of your self-trus

Q: What does "Moderate Gaslighting Indicators" mean?

Something is wearing you down slowly. I want you to stay with what you're feeling right now, because your answers are showing something important. There are patterns here that are chipping away at your sense of reality. You might not call

Q: What does "Strong Gaslighting Indicators" mean?

You are not crazy. This is real. I need you to hear this clearly: you are not losing your mind. What you're describing has a pattern, and that pattern has a name. Someone in your life is systematically undermining your ability to tru

Question 1

Right now, think about a recent disagreement where you clearly remembered what happened. When they told you it didn't happen that way, what did you notice in your body?

Answer

My stomach dropped and I went blank. Within minutes I was apologizing and accepting their version, even though something in me knew what I saw.

Answer

I held my ground in the moment, but later I spiraled. Maybe I really did remember it wrong? I replayed it over and over until I couldn't tell anymore.

Answer

There was a flicker of doubt, but I came back to what I knew. I trusted my own memory even though they pushed back.

Answer

I stayed grounded in my experience. Disagreements about facts happen, but I don't lose my grip on what I know.

Question 2

What do you notice when you check in with yourself about how often you say 'sorry' around this person?

Answer

I apologize for everything. My tone, my feelings, my needs, the way I breathe. Sorry has become my opening line for every sentence.

Answer

I catch myself saying sorry for things that aren't my fault, just to smooth things over before they get upset.

Answer

I notice I apologize a bit more than necessary around them, but it's not constant.

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I say sorry when I've genuinely done something wrong. It's not a reflex, it's a real response.

Question 3

After a long conversation with this person, especially one where something felt off, what do you notice happening in your mind?

Answer

Fog. Like my brain has been scrambled. I walked in knowing what I wanted to say and walked out confused about what just happened.

Answer

I feel heavy and drained. Somehow the conversation flipped and I ended up comforting them about the thing they did to me.

Answer

Sometimes I feel slightly disoriented after we talk, but I can usually sort through it on my own.

Answer

Even when we disagree, I leave the conversation knowing what was said and feeling like myself.

Question 4

What do you notice in your body when you're about to bring something up with this person? Something they did that bothered you?

Answer

Tight chest, shallow breathing, rehearsing every word in my head twenty times. I'm more afraid of their reaction than I am hurt by what they did.

Answer

I bring it up, but I soften it so much that my actual point disappears. I'm managing their emotions before they even have them.

Answer

There's some nervousness, but I can usually push through it and say what I need to say.

Answer

I can bring up hard things without my body going into survival mode. There's room for honesty between us.

Question 5

When this person tells you that you're 'too sensitive' or 'overreacting,' what happens inside you?

Answer

I go quiet. Something collapses in me. I stop trusting what I feel and start performing calm so they won't say it again.

Answer

Part of me wonders if they're right. Maybe I do feel too much. Maybe the problem really is just me.

Answer

It stings when they say it, but I can usually recognize that my feelings are valid even if they don't like them.

Answer

I know that my emotional responses belong to me. Someone dismissing them tells me more about them than about me.

Question 6

Think about the last few times you and this person remembered something differently. What do you notice about how those moments resolve?

Answer

It always ends with their version winning. Always. They say it with such certainty that I fold, even when I know what happened.

Answer

I usually let it go because pushing back makes everything worse. It's easier to agree than to deal with what comes next.

Answer

Sometimes they concede, sometimes I do. It doesn't feel like one person always controls the narrative.

Answer

We can disagree about details without it becoming a battle. Neither of us has to be the only one who's right.

Question 7

When you compare who you are now with who you were before this relationship, what do you notice?

Answer

I used to be sure of myself. I had opinions, made decisions, trusted my gut. Now I second-guess everything and I don't know when that started.

Answer

I've become quieter. Less bold. I notice I dim parts of myself to avoid conflict or criticism from them.

Answer

I've lost a little confidence in certain areas, but I can still feel the core of who I am underneath it.

Answer

I feel like the same person, maybe even more myself. This relationship hasn't cost me my sense of who I am.

Question 8

What do you notice about your contact with friends and family since this relationship became central in your life?

Answer

I've drifted from almost everyone. Some of it was my choice, some of it was them making me feel guilty for spending time with other people.

Answer

I still see people, but less. And when I do, I hide what's really going on. I don't want anyone to worry or judge.

Answer

I've been a bit less available, but my close relationships are still intact. I haven't pulled away in any serious way.

Answer

My friendships and family connections are strong. This relationship hasn't come at the cost of my other bonds.

Question 9

When a friend or family member expresses concern about this person or this relationship, what rises in you first?

Answer

I jump to their defense before I even think about it. I explain away their behavior, make excuses, rewrite events to make them sound better.

Answer

I get uncomfortable and redirect the conversation. I don't want anyone looking too closely at what's happening between us.

Answer

It's uncomfortable to hear, but I can sit with it. Part of me knows there might be something to what they're saying.

Answer

The people close to me aren't worried. They see a relationship that looks healthy from the outside because it is.

Question 10

Sit with this one honestly. How often do you find yourself thinking that something is deeply wrong with you, that maybe you really are the problem?

Answer

All the time. I feel like I'm going crazy. I can't tell what's real anymore and I genuinely wonder if there's something broken in me.

Answer

More often than I want to admit. There's a quiet voice that says maybe they're right, maybe I'm the difficult one.

Answer

It crosses my mind occasionally, but I can usually step back and see the situation more clearly.

Answer

I don't carry that feeling. I know I'm imperfect, but I don't walk around questioning my own sanity.